Surgery Update

Just a quick update. I developed an infection from the surgery. The OB-GYN said that they had to go so deep to remove the entire cyst and Bartholin gland, that infection was pretty likely. I've battled a fever of 100 or more since Monday, and I'm really just exhausted. I'm not as sore, but I have to walk slowly and sit carefully. I carried a pillow to the cafeteria today! The kids really didn't understand why I was doing that, and then they wanted to do it, too! The benches are very hard! Probably shouldn't have worked today, but they don't hand out sick days like gum around here.
I visited the doctor today, and she said to continue pain pills as needed and prescribed me 2 new antibiotics. She seemed optimistic that it would all clear up within the next few days. I have a follow-up next Friday, and another in 2 weeks.
I'm really hoping the infection goes away. My life has GOT to get back to normal, or some semblance of normal SOON.

Thanks goes out to the best nurse in the world, my awesome hubby, Matt! Love you!

Surgery

A couple of years ago, I noticed that something had "popped" up. My brain immediately spins and wonders "do I have cancer?" " am I gonna die?!" It was just a Bartholin cyst. Something a lot of women get over their lifetime. I went to my OB-GYN and had it looked at. She treated it with antibiotics, but the stubborn thing didn't go away. So, I went back and had it drained. Ouch! Again, a few weeks later, the stubborn thing came back! Frustrated, I went back and had it drained again. This time, it went away for about a month and returned again. Now, I realize I'm stubborn....but goodness! This thing was worse than me! (Unimaginable, right?)

So, I tried to forget it was even there. It wasn't hurting me, so I ignored it. Months went by and it actually almost became a normality. It was just there. Hanging' out. I was dealing with my mom's illness and death so I honestly just put it on the backburner for a while. Eventually, things in my life settled down, and the conversations between Matt and I led to when we wanted to start a family together. I knew that I needed to talk with my OB-GYN about the cyst and having it surgically removed so the stubborn thing couldn't come back.

I went in September to discuss it and set up surgery. She informed me I'd be out of work for several days and that I'd be in SEVERE pain. I blew it off and was like, "oh, pain's fine....just get it off me!"

Last night, before my surgery this morning, I was laying in bed letting my mind wander. I had been in a bad mood all afternoon and evening. I couldn't figure out why. Then it hit me. I really needed my mom. I needed to hear her reassure me that I'd do fine and everything was going to be ok. I'd heard this from nearly every friend or family member I'd talked about the surgery with, but it just isn't the same. There are times where only MOM will do. I broke down and was sobbing.....Matt just hugged me. He didn't speak or ask what was wrong. He didn't have to because he knew. That's where I feel I'm the luckiest girl in the world. God took my mother from me, but in return he gave me the best thing that has ever happened to me. I count my blessings every day.

This morning, as we got up at 4:30, I was nervous. I didn't know how I'd react to the anesthesia or how much pain I'd be in. I was scared. I closed my eyes and thought about what my mom would say, because she would've made me call her on the way to the hospital....no doubt. As we drove up, most of my fears were gone. I just wanted to get it over with.

Several hours later, I was in recovery all hocked up on anesthesia and morphine with Matt by my side. The doctor said I did well, and that I'll need to take it easy for several days.

I am so fortunate to have such caring friends and family. I also am extremely fortunate to have Matt as my husband. He's the best nurse ever!

Isn't it weird that....??

I have had moments over the last 9 months of my life where all I wanted to do was pick up the phone and call my mom. There's been days of joy, and days of disappointment....and nobody to call. I say nobody, but I have some awesome friends in my life...I really do. It's just not the same as calling home to MOM. Everything I am, I am because of my mother. I do, however, find it interesting that my Dad has taken an even more important role in my life over the last few months. We were always close, don't get me wrong, but our bond has changed. It's much stronger. To the point where we usually end up calling each other at the same exact time. It's happened many times over the past few months, and NEVER before my Mom passed away.
Weird, huh?!
Just a couple of weeks ago, my phone rang on a day where everything, and I do mean everything, was going completely wrong. 100% WRONG. On the other end was my Dad. Talking to him was therapeutic. I needed it. It helped me get through it. I didn't even share with him that I was having a bad day. He already knew it.

Then, there was today. I started to feel bad over the weekend, and yesterday began running a fever. I was expecting this since I get it EVERY September. Sinus problems, Upper Resp. Infections...etc. I decided that I'd work a half day and make a doctor's appointment for the afternoon. So, after my doctor's visit I went home and tried to relax. Molson didn't quite let me. So, I gave up on that. I did some school work, and really didn't feel well. Matt was at tennis. Ashley had left to go out for a friend's birthday celebration....and there I was feeling blah. The phone rings....yep, it's Dad. It's just like he knew. Weird. He definitely lifted my spirits.

So....my question is....is our bond stronger?? I don't just think so. I know so. And I am SO thankful for that!

Molson and the worm

He couldn't figure out what this was....and he really wanted a friend to play with!! Enjoy!

8 months...

It's really hard to believe that it's been 8 months since I lost my mother. It is true when they say "life goes on"..... it just goes on differently. I still have bills to pay, errands to run, children to teach, laundry to do, and fun events to attend.....but it's not quite the same. I often find myself longing to call my mom and talk to her. Just hear her voice. Many times, I find myself giggling over something she and I shared a laugh about. Then the giggles quickly turn to tears as I remember that she's gone. Then there's the times I need her advice. The advice only a mother can give. I almost feel lost some days. If it weren't for a strong support system of friends, family, and especially my wonderful husband, Matt, I'm not sure I would've made it through the last 8 months. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about my mom, and there won't be one for the rest of my life. Those of you that still have your mom in your life: CHERISH HER. Call her. Tell her you love her. Spend time with her. Make new memories and relive the past memories. Don't let time get away from you, because you never know when she'll be taken from you.
I miss you and love you, mom. You were my very best friend.

Never Alone by Rodney Belcher

I feel you in the morning
When at first I awake.
Your thought is with me
With each decision I make.

You'd been around forever
Since the first breath I took.
Now I have to go on alone
But for love, I need not look.
Cause by what you bestowed
In our short time together
Will last in my heart
Forever and ever.

Although you've left
And now walk above
I'm never alone.
I'm wrapped in your love.
Enjoy now your long waited reward.
Feel peace that your love continues on.
What was taught to me,
will be taught to mine
Cause you live on in me even after you've gone

Molson...2 weeks later :)

He had his first trip to the Vet today and he did a great job! He was very brave when he got his shots and loved the Vet! We're proud parents!! He's 14 lbs. and growing!

We love our crazy puppy!

Molson....1 week later

Molson Rohring, 15 weeks and 13 lbs.

He's still the cutest puppy ever....but he's starting to chew on everything!

Yes, we've tried all the tricks in the book, but he's still chewing away.

Oh well....let's hope our rugs, furniture, toes, shoes, and clothes make it out of this stage ok. Here's some new photos of our precious little puppy!!